I#8217;m Shy How Do I Succeed in My Career

I8217m Shy How Do I Succeed in My Career History is full ofexamples of powerful, socially shy leaders. U.S. Presidents James Madison, Jimmy Carter, andRichard Nixon come to mind. The beloved American investor Warren Buffett is shy yet highly effective inbusiness and public life.In our work with leaders, we have found many effective sales executives may spendtheir professional time meeting new people, but they consider it work.The Shyness ContinuumForty percentof the U.S. population defines itself as shy. In reality, shy is a behavioral continuum.Try this exerciseUsinga scale of 0 (not shy) to 10 (antisocial), assign a number to how shy you think you are.After assigning yourself a number, approach three people who know you well. Ask them to assign a numberto you using the same scale.If the number you gave yourself is higher than the number assigned to you by people who know you,perhaps you are using a pattern of thought called generalization logic.Sta nford University Professor Emeritus Philip Zimbardo conducted pioneering research on how shypeople think, and he foundthat many inappropriately use generalization logic while not usingenough situation-specific logic.(1)For example, in one experiment, causal attributions of shy students were compared with causal attributions of control studentsin ten different situations. Significant differences between the two groups emerged when they were asked to explain the outcomes of situations. (2) As it turns out,the higher one is on theshyness continuum, themore likely one is to explain things in terms of generalization logic.An Example of Generalization LogicTwo-year-old Jennifer goes with her mother to visit one of her mothers friends. Jennifer is huggingmothers skirts and avoiding eye contact with the friend. Mother says to her friend, Im sorry, butJennifer is shy.The mothers explanation is an example of generalization logic. It extrapolates behavior from one situation andthen predicts si milar behavior in nearly all situations.On the higher end of theshyness scale say people who rank at 5+ peoples cognitive frameworks bias them to draw conclusions based on generalization logic. Sometimes, the generalization logic is useful. Sometimes, it is not.We see it all the time in our practicewhen candidates make statements like, Im bad at networking or I cant do cold calling.Lets revisit the situation with Jennifer and her mother.Suppose her mother now says the followingIm sorry, but Jennifer tends to be shy when first meeting strangers. Im koranvers she will act differentlyonce she gets to know you.Notice that this logic focuses on situational context. It avoids generalization. It explicitly states that achange in conditions would change Jennifers behavior.The first explanation the one based on generalization logic offers no hope of change, but the second explanation focuses specifically on change.Effective leaders should be able to use both situational logic and general ization logic. But as you move up in the shyness continuum, your pattern of logic might be unbalanced in favor of generalization logic, and you may beunaware that your logic is unbalanced. This lack of awarenessmay bias your decisions in ways that harm your career and your organization. Overuse of Generalization Logic Can Be DangerousA recruiter calls a chief financial officer (CFO) about an opportunity that would require relocation fromBoston to Tulsa, Oklahoma. One CFO who is lower on the shyness continuum might employ situational logic in the following mannerThe job interview itself is worth my time, if only for interview practice. I am not interested inmoving to Tulsa. But who knows? Perhaps the firm will have an opportunity that is too good topass up. Ive never been to Tulsa. I should not judge it until I see it. I will never know unless I giveit a try. After all, it is only a job interview. My family might enjoy a change of scenery, or they mightnot. Lets cross that bridge if and when we need to cross it.A CFO who is 5+ on the shyness scale might have the following logic patternWhat happens if I get an offer? My spouse would never move to Tulsa. My children will be angryat me. I will alienate my children, and my spouse will divorce me. I will end up living alone in acheap motel in Tulsa. I will have all my meals at the local Burger King Is that any way to live?? Iwill not go to Tulsa for a job interview.Using Generalization Logic in Evaluating SubordinatesThis same type of generalization logic can also reduce your effectiveness in evaluating people who report toyou.For example, someone complains that an associate on your team welches rude to a customer. The 5+ shybabo might have a cognitive bias about leaping to the conclusion that this subordinate is not a team player.The 5+ shy boss might discount the subordinates explanations about the unusual context of the situationas rationalizations.Someone with a logical framework based more in situational logic might be inclined not to take action until a pattern ofrudeness emerges. Generalization Logic Can Be of Value in ModerationGeneralized logic is a great skill to have because it assumes that lessons from one event are easilytransferred to other events. Attorneys use generalization logic when looking to apply case law. Physiciansuse generalization logic in applying findings from one patient to a new patient.As withany pattern of thought, however, effective leaders must bedeliberate about how often they employgeneralization logic. They must see the limitations of generalization logic.If you are on the 5+ side of the shyness continuum, generalization logic might be such a routine way oflooking at the world that you may inappropriately discount situational explanations. And that discounting couldlimit future growth opportunities for you.Join the Conversation Does Being Shy Make It Hard to Advance in Your Career?For example, you know that you need to develop a social/professional network outside of your job situation.Life is uncertain, and you do not wish to be dependent upon your boss for your future income. You knowyou need to join a professional association and becomeknown as a player within your profession.Say you join anassociation and attend one cocktail party. The evening turns out to beunproductive and boring. YouconcludeThis association is a waste of time and money.Do you see the generalization logic employed here? A situational logic explanation might be that perhapsmeeting people at cocktail parties is not the best way for you to get known or get to know others. Perhapsyou might want to volunteer your time on a committee of the association.What Got You Here Wont Get You ThereThis is the title of a book on coaching by Marshall Goldsmith (3).The schlagwort encapsulatesthe basic challengefaced bymany of the people we work with in our practice They must unlearn the discipline and habits of thought that got them to their current level if they are to move to a new level.If your perspective is imbalanced between generalization logic and situational logic, find a third party to helpyou get into the habit of taking a more balanced approach. Consider asking your boss for coaching assistance. It is oneway that the company can demonstrate its commitment to you as part of its future. These days, asking fora coach is as much a sign of weakness as an adequate golfer seeking the help of a golfing coach to improveher putting.Another option is to look for career professionals who are certified by the nonprofit Institute ofCareerCertification International.You cant change your patterns of logic simply through good intentions alone. You need a certain amount of discipline to overcome these bad behavioral habits.This article was adapted fromNavigating the Waterfall Your Job Search and Career Management Guide,produced byStybel, Peabody Associates, an Arbora Global Company.Sources1.Zimbardo, P. G. (1986). The Stanford Shyness Project. Shyness (pp. 17-25) . Springer US2.Teglasi, H., Hoffman, M. A. (1982). Causal Attributions of Shy Subjects. Journal of Research in Personality, 16(3), 376-385.3.Goldsmith, M. (2008). What Got You Here Wont Get You There How Successful People Become Even More Successful. Profile Books.